11.9.11

Accidents Happen

Yesterday my six year old niece said to me "I have to tell you something." Intrigued, I asked "What is it?" She answered: "For the first time I got told off by my teacher..." I interrupted, "For the first or for the tenth time?" She replied (intolerant to my joke), "For the first time". She then started from scratch: "For the second time I got told off by my teacher for not concentrating by accident." Of course, all three adults in her company laughed at this child's admittance that it was not in fact the first time, but moreso at the defense of her classroom neglect as an 'accidental' lack of concentration.

Actually, she is completely right. Of course it was by accident. For who intends to not concentrate? I conclude that she is a very observant young lady.

(I also recall that earlier this year she told me a similar story, where the teacher told her off for not concentrating. She defended herself by saying "I forgot to concentrate as I was looking out of the window." My guess is that these accidents happen on a regular basis.)

9.9.11

Friendship: 'Love's Work' by Gillian Rose

What does it really mean to say that one has been affected or changed by something? Because often we say this about things we have seen or read, the truth being that that it hasn't changed us at all. Maybe we just want it to have changed us.

What touched me the most about Love's Work was the relationships Gillian Rose had with people - a closeness with friends that was direct, yet warm and unconditional. Something that I am unsure if I have ever had. I finished the book feeling that it had changed me.

I have since felt that I would like to explore some of the friendships I have and possibly be more active in making new friends. I do have friends (though not in large numbers - though numbers do not bother me), a few good friends for whom I feel affection towards. What I am hoping for is a friendship that goes beyond niceties. For one to be able to accept a person as they really are, and this to be reciprocated. I may have this with X, but with a lover/spouse it is not the same as with a friend.

But I am not sure if it has actually changed me, as I have yet to act on this feeling. How can one change how they relate to people? This cannot happen over night, and I am just too lazy to put the hours in.

It impressed me that Rose could have such an openness with people. Perhaps she did not have this with all, but it is enough that she had this with the few friends she mentions in Love's Work. I am envious. Yet happy that someone else has this at least. Because I do not believe this kind of friendship is as common as we'd like to believe.