The Other Employee

In the workplace, as an ‘employee’ (a terrible way to have to describe oneself) you will encounter

- those who seek to assert authority (even in the smallest ways)
- those who seek fame
- those who seek fortune
- those who seek to break others
- those who are weak
- those who are upstarts
- those who compete
- those who are go-getters
- those who watch the clock
- those who love hierarchies
- those who know it all (but actually know little)
- those who are dull
- those who make excuses
- those who are work-shy
- those who are sickeningly friendly
- those who are against humanity

My advice is to stick with the nice ones you find. If there aren't any nice ones, just quit.

(I must also warn you all that these people aren't only found in the workplace, but at least outside the workplace it is easier to avoid them).

Personality Traits I Hate: Part 1, The Blamer

One of the ugliest personality traits in a human being is one that constantly assigns blame to another, or makes excuses for the things they do. "That wasn't me, that was my friend", "I didn't say that, she did", "I only did that because this happened [which means I really didn't do it after all]."

"I was drunk"
"It was an accident"
"I didn't know"
"It was him"
"It was her"
"It was them"
"It was the whole world conspiring against me"

The world conspires against the blamer and excuser, so that no matter what they do somehow they are the injured ones. This person is continually sinned against and they must live having to bear this.

This person passes the buck with such conviction that it is frightening. One wonders if they believe these excuses themselves, or whether they are fully aware of what they are doing, or whether they are simply mad. Perhaps it is a mix of all three, like a cheap coffee blend that leaves a dirty taste in the mouth.

Blamer, I want you to know that I know what you're up to. I realise that because you have this trait you will always win and I will always lose. But know that I know this.

Different Parts, or A Bad Train Journey

Yet another stupid conversation I had to listen to on the train between Watford and Euston. This time a guy telling someone that “the company is diverse, but it is not about diversity”, No, it is “not about diversity but inclusion”, so they want some kind of symbol or image that reflects this. His first idea? A jigsaw with parts that are all different. They are different parts. After exhausting this idea of the different parts of a jigsaw, he decided he could be better: Russian dolls. Russian dolls are “a good symbol of inclusion”. He toyed around with this idea, but decided he could do even better. “What about the prism on the cover of Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon?” This guy’s going places.

(It was unfortunate that I could not hear his explanation of why the prism is an appropriate symbol of inclusion, as I would have welcomed the further amusement. Also, one has to know who their enemies are.)

(It is fortunate that I could not hear his explanation of why the prism is an appropriate symbol of inclusion, as I would have been saddened further. Also, one has to try not to see too many people as enemies.)

A Note on Robert Walser

The Monkey
When asked "Who are you?" the monkey replies by telling stories of encounters he has had. Which is not an untrue response of who a person (or monkey) is.

Freudians versus Jungians

When undertaking some archive work with the psychoanalyst Malcolm Pines, I came across a photograph of cricketers, standing for a group portrait. I showed this to Malcolm, asking him to explain the photograph if he could. He looked at the photograph, then suddenly remembered. "That was when the Freudians played the Jungians", much to my delight. The battle of the minds' form of taking it to the streets. I asked if he could remember who won. He replied, "I think they agreed to call it a draw."

"Your reputation is you"

Hobbes said that "the reputation of Power is Power". What a good observation.

The Downfall of Condorcet

The well known story about the capture of the Marquis de Condorcet during the French Revolution is one of my favourites. Condorcet enters an inn to eat. The waiter asks him his order, to which Condorcet responds that he would like an omelette. The waiter asks how many eggs, to which Condorcet replies "a dozen". The waiter then asks him his trade. "Carpenter". But only the aristocracy would order a 12 egg omelette. The downfall of the Marquis de Condorcet.