Without believing to be different from anyone else (though secretly desiring this more than anything), it can be difficult when one sees that another human being can lead a happier or less complicated life than oneself because they do not follow strict rules of what they do not want to be (this is not even a question for them). The restrictions given to oneself can often lead to the question, “Why can’t I be like the others?”
Today I bought a dress. The warm weather had arrived in the city, and in a moment of heat-induced madness a dress was bought. Not one to normally wear dresses (particularly those with a feminine quality), the decision came because I wanted to cool down like other ladies do. I considered that men do not wear dresses, and therefore my situation is no worse than theirs. I came to the conclusion that it is worse as I cannot wear t-shirts and baggy trousers (who really can?).
The dress is simple, but not to my taste. I desperately want to wear this linen-lycra mix dress like the other ladies do but I am certain that tomorrow I will take it back to the cheap shop it came from. I do not know what the bigger problem is: wanting to be the same or wanting to be different. I do know that I will not be wearing that linen-lycra mix dress.
I bought a dress in a similar situation last year. I wore it once then realised it was not right. I should have accepted my lot then.
Returning to the question, “why can’t I be like the others?” Don’t you already know that you are? What a shame, as one really does not want to be like the others, and is, in truth, under the false impression that one is different (but, of course, to admit this would be to open up oneself to great criticism).
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